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Picnics and Battles - Gender Differences

Early dinners and bath time has always brought with it something interesting for reflection. After the children spent time outside, getting plenty sweaty and dirty, they cleaned up, ate dinner, and then were allowed some play time before bed.


As the four older children played their imaginative games downstairs, I took time with Babe in the upstairs hallway. As the baby of a family, myself, I can relate to often being overlooked, and I make it a point, some days, to give him some of his own special time. We played ‘picnic’ with the play silverware, toy plates and plastic food.

I also like to use this kind of special time to instill a bit of academics and see where he’s at without much instruction from me. Yes, he’s only two, but they pick up things quick, and I was curious, how much is he really picking up, since his speech is a bit more delayed than what I remember from the girls.

To my surprise, as I asked him to find the blue ice cream cone, he picked up the correct color, presented to me and said, “Here you go!” When I asked for the white cone, he definitely knew which one to take. I asked him to cut my cake for me, and he grabbed a knife and fork and began to ‘slice’ away. I asked him for a fork, and quickly, he took the correct utensil and presented it me. I was amazed. I never taught him his colors. I never explained different utensils or their use. Simply living in the house, surrounded by siblings eager to teach, he has already learned so much.

When people think the youngest child in a big family are lost, it is just not true. He is probably more aware than the other kids were at this age. Everyone seems to dote on him. They read books to him, take the time to explain something to him, and include him on most activities they are involved in. It’s no wonder he understands more than he can communicate.

Now, we move on to the more interesting part of the evening. Mid-picnic, HH had quietly made his way upstairs, and sat to watch our play time unfold. When I finally glanced his way and realized we had an audience, HH chuckled at our fun. Babe noticed his Dad, yet stayed a while longer with me, picked up the toys and put them away, as he chanted a few times, “All done. All done.”

Just as Babe finished, he looked back at Dad. HH had grabbed a nearby teddy bear and started to wiggle it in an attempt to bring Babe over. It worked. Babe smiled big seeing the dancing teddy, and went to play some new game with him. Before meeting up with him, he looked for a teddy bear of his own, and he turned his back to HH, looked at me, grit his teeth and said something unintelligible. What he proceeded to do, explained clearly what he must have tried to communicate to me before he left my side. I am sure he was trying to say in a gruff voice, “I’m going to get Daddy!”

Babe ran over to HH, and with his ready teddy bear, began to violently slam his bear into HH’s bear. Each time, HH would pick up his toppled over bear and do a dance, to which Babe responded with yet another pounding, laughing all the while.

It was a classic moment. Witnessing this moment as it all played out told me everything I need to know about whether or not very young children recognize gender differences in their parents. It showed me clearly he knew how to play with Mom. He definitely knew he could be rough and tough with Dad. He knew how he could play with different parents. We have seen so many examples over the years with all the children of this exact same dynamic. Kids know they are allowed to be rough with Dad and Dad will play along. He knows what to expect from Mom, that softer side that allows for kisses for ouchies, play and learning games, and a soft spot to land when life gets tough.

I love this dynamic. It demonstrates a necessity that at times gets overlooked….and that necessity is having both a man and a woman as parents, and how each has a very important role to play.

Recently movies have come out that would lead us to believe one of those important parental figures isn’t necessary, namely the father. It’s a shame.  If God had wanted children to be raised by only one parent, He wouldn't have made it necessary to have both a man and woman involved in the procreation process.  Now, don't get me wrong....single parents are doing the best job they can all over the world.  I applaud them. Most cases, it is not by choice that they are doing it alone.  My point is that someone should not knowingly go into parenthood planning on doing it alone.  It's a disservice to the child.

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