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Modest Speech

As children mature, so do our conversations.  New and more difficult questions are coming my way, ones that I must take time to think of good and honest responses to.  The only thing missing is the teaching from me, as to when and where some of these discreet conversations should happen.  I have learned I must do a little formation....of MODEST SPEECH: Not only what to discuss in public, but when and where.  I believe I have stressed the importance of being open to any topic, to a point that other formative lessons were being missed.

Let me tell you, timing is crucial for these topics:  It's not in the Walmart checkout line, while buying four kids' school supplies, at the same time as I balance writing my check, and keeping my Babe from pulling all the candy down from the shelves. That's not the time for any questions not related to our current supply shopping outing this morning with all five children in tow.

It's not the time. 

Am I going to tell you my Thinker's examples of inappropriate timing and on what topic?  Nope, I won't.  See, I have a filter.  I share only what I deem is acceptable and dignified, not only to protect my Thinker, but to think of you, my reader, to only present what might be of interest to you.

But there are good times to have these discussions, and a ten year old mind must start the maturing process of thinking before speaking.  She must mentally take a moment, and make a conscious decision if this moment is the best moment for such a discussion.   Who is around, who will hear me, is it an appropriate discussion in a public place with ears here and there.  I am seeing, the lesson might truly be about thinking of others and what others might think or feel before spilling whatever free thoughts are roaming around as well as maintaining a sense of one's own personal dignity.

Unfortunately, as she grows she sees more and more of bad examples of immodest speech.  They are things that are meant to be private or not said at all.  She hears and absorbs more and more of what's around her.  And some of that, I can see, is good.  It's great fodder for discussions on what is good and right, and what is unacceptable.  So, for the most part, we've been handling it well.  But I fear, too, for her future in social online atmospheres, where many a speech filter has been removed.

Modest speech, I wonder, is something that is being lost with all the social networking that is happening all around these days.  I see more and more people post on their 'wall' things I just KNOW they'd never say in a crowd of people.  The filter is lost for some reason.  The screen and the keyboard allow for people to lose their inhibitions and let loose on random, sometimes insanely private topics and then let their hundreds of 'friends' comment. 

Am I crazy?  Tell me.  I've been on Facebook purely as an experiment to understand how it works, and to assist the promotion of our Catholic School, as I manage their Page as well as my own.  So, I get it.  There is an instant 'high' in seeing someone comment or 'like' something clever I wrote.  I get it.  But isn't it a tad narcissistic?

I suppose, Facebook can be used as a teaching tool about what is modest speech and what isn't.  We should learn how to utilize the social tools at our disposal, but not allow them to dull our filter, our conscious, or change us from who we are in public places.  They are tools, that's it.  There is a way to use them without sacrificing our own personal privacy, intimacy or morality as well as keeping others' feelings at the forefront.

I am formulating my modest speech converation with my Thinker.  I am working to tie together, all the work we have done in the past with modest dress, now with modest speech.  There is a string that ties these things together.  It is out of Love that we dress modestly, and it is also out of Love for ourselves and others, that we speak modestly as well.

Not everyone needs to see or hear what should be covered, respected, and dignified.  It's about the human person, dignified....even when typing on a keyboard and behind a screen.  We are still human.  We are still vulnerable to self-degredation, by what we wear or what we say.  We are still tempted to disregard others, by our speech, in the 'it's all about me' moments we have all the time.

I am looking for resources on this topic of Modest Speech, if anyone reading has something to offer.  I am all ears.  For now, I pray for the Holy Spirit to come and use His words, they'll surely be better than anything I could come up with anyhow. 

He who loves purity of heart, and whose speech is gracious, will have the king as his friend. 
Proverbs 22:11
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