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You Know You Are No Longer a Newbie Mom When...

Your saliva becomes the paci disinfectant.

The 3 second rule becomes the 3 minute rule.

Potty training takes four days instead of 4 months.

‘No’ actually means ‘No’.

‘Maybe’ means ‘Yes’.

‘Yes’ means ‘When I find the time’.

‘Eat this’ means ‘Now, or for breakfast’.

Any emergency can be handled with the odds and ends in your purse, like a Mom MacGyver.

Wipes have permanent home in your purse even with no one in diapers.

You’ve got a laundry system.

You can sing the tunes for Dora the Explorer, Blues Clues and Veggie Tales, and they are no longer irritating.

‘Go play outside’ means ‘I need a break’.

The doe eyes of a 3 year old no longer change your mind.

The cries of a baby/toddler are interpreted as forming the will.

At 3 am, you’ve nursed the baby, checked on a sick child, kissed the HH, but can’t remember any of it in the morning.

Mopping becomes a thing of the past considering the daily wiping of split drinks.

The whole house resembles an extra large toy bin.

You figure in hand-me-downs as a budget reducer.

When you know all the words to ‘Goodnight Bear’ without a glance to the pages.

You can simultaneously carry on three different conversations.

You wait for a cry before reacting to an incident.

Every ouchie doesn’t get a band-aid.

The children’s collection of shoes outnumbers yours.

You can nurse anywhere, and I mean ANY WHERE.

A manicure seems pointless yet necessary at the same time.

You know when to expect a poopie diaper.

You can smell that diaper from three rooms away.

Multitasking has taken on all new meaning.

Silence signifies impending doom.

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