Understanding the will of God can be difficult. What am I typing? It is not only daunting, but at times simply
maddening. It can include excitement at
the prospect of His plans, and at times sadness to see our own will diminished
and His will exercised. It’s like a
roller coaster ride of highs and lows, until ultimately, we surrender ourselves
and find the peace that can only come with His divine grace.
Lately, HH and I have had something pulling at us, as if God
was trying to tell us something, so delicately that we can’t see it
clearly. In His wisdom, it’s almost
like, he wants us to figure Him out first, before revealing His plan. It’s rare that both husband and wife should
feel this same stir deep within, at the same time, at least rare for us. So we’ve spent some significant time in
discernment….thinking and praying through the many facets of our family of
seven to hear God’s plan clearly, to see how He is marking things out for us. What does God want us to see and change in our
lives, for us to represent His Will more accurately.
As I mentally imagine the many ways to enrich our family
life, to make changes, my mind goes into far reaching places as well. Is God
asking for big changes, like a move, like a school change, like a complete
lifestyle shift? I began to look at
every opportunity that presented itself, as if God was placing this in my path
in order for me to align more closely to His will. Every opportunity became a discernment
process!
And then I stopped looking, and asked God to simply show us,
in very clear terms, so I wouldn't miss it.
And then yesterday happened.
My beloved had arranged for us to visit a fellow parishioner
from our parish, that we were informed was very ill, couldn't leave his home
and would not live much longer. It was a
week day, kids had homework and tests to study for, but it all got put on
hold.
They all made homemade get well cards and off we went. Not knowing what to expect, or the condition
of this weak, ill man, we took the driving time to teach our children about
corporal works of mercy. We are visiting
the ill, the dying and the imprisoned. When were you sick or imprisoned, and we
visited you, Lord? Yesterday. Yesterday we spent time as a family, hugging
and laughing and crying with our fellow man, the person who used to sit in a
nearby pew and play peek-a-boo with my Babe.
He asked for our prayers as he stated he doesn't pray much
anymore. We insisted, “He is preparing a
place for you,” to which he answered, “I
hope so, cause I have prepared my own, the cemetery, I mean.”
For a weak man, his hugs were strong and filled with a mix
of determination and resignation, if that’s even possible. We witnessed a man on the stepping stones of
his last life stage. We comforted his daughter,
and the kids tried to appear unafraid of oxygen tanks and the hoses wrapped
around his face. They saw a grown man,
needing help to stand, to walk, to speak and to wipe his mouth. They saw this man, a veteran from a World War
completely reliant on someone else, in his last days.
We left the house, and our van was silent for a while, as we
contemplated life’s reality. Part of
this life, is death. I asked each child
of mine, what they thought about the visit and was curious what will they take from
this experience.
The kids had mixed reviews of the event, some said they were
sad, others afraid, but the consensus of our group was that they could see the
happiness we had brought by a simple visit to his home. And I thought about that. It’s true, sometimes, we see people in our
parish, but never see their home, visit them and make a personal connection to
them. To see others at Mass on Sunday…is
that all it’s supposed to be? Or are we
a community that will reach out to one of its own.
HH decided to treat us all for a pizza dinner out, and
during the meal a neighboring restaurant guest decided to give our family a
discount on our dinner. Overwhelmed at
the night’s events, HH and I made knowing glances towards each other, as if we
knew God has been working here.
Yes, the home work got done, and studying for tests happened
so briefly, however, the lesson of the day wasn’t meant to be conjugating
Spanish. It was meant to be a corporal
work of mercy, and what it means to our fellow man in the pew. Will my kids remember all the Spanish they
needed to know for this test today? I
doubt it. Will they forever remember the
man of last night, and his bright eyes, and the smile we were able to bring
him? For sure. They will remember him.
And in this world of constant decision making, discernment,
shall we say, I need to teach my children of the important , eternal lessons of
the day….the lessons of love, compassion and mercy.
God working in our hearts, and being attentive to His
promptings is not always easy. In fact,
it will often times take us in directions that are uncomfortable or unpleasant,
reminding us of things we’d rather take for granted. In the end did HH and I really figure out
what is stirring in our hearts?
We did. Yesterday, we
did know the plan. And we can’t say that
we know exactly, every minute what He would want from us. But to be able to state in very clear terms
that we got one day right – we got one event right, that we know God would have
wanted us there, well, that’s enough.
Lord, keep stirring in
our heart. Keep moving us to serve others.
Help us to bring joy and peace to those who are lonely or sick. Embrace the dying, Lord. Prepare him a place,
a garden for him to call home.
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