Obviously a good thing, Jesus states about Nathaniel, that there is no duplicity in him. For many days now, this quote from Christ has occupied my thoughts and meditations. (Gospel of John). For some reason, I am meant to concentrate on it....and so this is what I've got.
What is duplicity? Thanks to dictionary.com we have this: 'speaking or acting in two different ways concerning the same matter with intent to deceive'.
Sounds like inauthenticity, false, shady, double dealing,....politics!
How often are we engaged in conversation with someone, trusting them with discretion, for that trust to be violated. How often are we representing ourselves as something we know full well we are not. How often do we work to hide our imperfections, our faults to gain the admiration of others?
What's interesting about this quote, is just after it, Nathaniel asks Jesus, "How do you know me?" Christ knows Nathaniel, yes, because He is God, however, think that if someone is truly authentic, transparent, anyone Nathaniel would cross would also know him. Those crossing his path would know the good in him, but also his weaknesses, his faults.
This will sound crazy, but for years now, HH and I have watched the TV game show, 'Survivor
'. This game show exemplifies this quote so well. The players must lie to each other, misrepresent themselves, ultimately play a game in such unethical ways in order to win. In reality, no one REALLY knows each other, even after a month of daily interactions and conversations, no one really knows any of their fellow game players. In order to win, you must be duplicitous. You must say one thing, but mean another. It makes for great TV when you see some try to play ethically while others do not.
Interestingly enough, some of these tactics do enter into our daily spheres more often than we'd like to believe.....perhaps not as viciously as a game show like Survivor, however just as dangerous, just as unethical, leaving people in life truly not knowing others around them.
How often do we see this even in business? Someone misrepresenting themselves on a resume to get a job, maintain a job, or even to manipulate a situation to better their career options? How about something a bit more relateable to regular mom.....
Last year I can remember a great example of this. I was at a school function and whilst talking with a fellow mom, she made the mention of a rule her and her husband agreed to: any purchase over $400 had to be approved by the other. My HH and I too, have a similar agreement, though our threshold is more like $100, however, I simply agreed with her, stating how good it is to be on the same page as our spouse in bigger purchases. Another mother in the group asked me directly, "Do YOU like to shop?"
Well I couldn't lie, I said, "Yes, I am a woman. I love to shop." Her next probing question was more difficult to answer. She asked, "What do you like to shop for?" I answered honestly, "I love to shop for shoes, though our threshold keeps my impulses in check."
Upon relating this story to someone, at a later date, I was advised to simply mention the famed name of Manolo Blahnik, as my favorite shoe designer, and then I'd be accepted in this group of weathy women. Knowing truthfully that I'd never owned, much less even seen a pair of Blahniks, I felt a sting of duplicity should I have taken that advice and tried to 'fit in'.
Granted, being a bit more duplicitious can help my own confidence or self-esteem level when talking with other women. Being a bit more duplicitous can convince others that I belong there, I fit in with them, am made of the same stuff as them. However, honestly, my conscious would bother me for days, that I misrepresented myself, I tried to be something I am not, that I wanted to fit in so badly, in essence I lied to gain their approval. What a shame.
That one encounter, that one bit of advice I received, made me examine to what depth am I ready to sink to in order to feel or be accepted. I'd rather sleep at night, and know that I am who I am. I am blessed with my Hero Husband, fantastic children and amazingly good health. I am blessed.
To ever be truly effective in proclaiming the Good News
to those around us, we must be like Nathaniel, transparent in all things. To truly be effective in befriending others, and expect them to be open and honest with us, we must accept the risk of rejection. As Christ tells Nathaniel that he is a true Isarelite, so too, should we hope that Christ would tell His Father, "There is no duplicity in her."
What is duplicity? Thanks to dictionary.com we have this: 'speaking or acting in two different ways concerning the same matter with intent to deceive'.
Sounds like inauthenticity, false, shady, double dealing,....politics!
How often are we engaged in conversation with someone, trusting them with discretion, for that trust to be violated. How often are we representing ourselves as something we know full well we are not. How often do we work to hide our imperfections, our faults to gain the admiration of others?
What's interesting about this quote, is just after it, Nathaniel asks Jesus, "How do you know me?" Christ knows Nathaniel, yes, because He is God, however, think that if someone is truly authentic, transparent, anyone Nathaniel would cross would also know him. Those crossing his path would know the good in him, but also his weaknesses, his faults.
This will sound crazy, but for years now, HH and I have watched the TV game show, 'Survivor
'. This game show exemplifies this quote so well. The players must lie to each other, misrepresent themselves, ultimately play a game in such unethical ways in order to win. In reality, no one REALLY knows each other, even after a month of daily interactions and conversations, no one really knows any of their fellow game players. In order to win, you must be duplicitous. You must say one thing, but mean another. It makes for great TV when you see some try to play ethically while others do not. Interestingly enough, some of these tactics do enter into our daily spheres more often than we'd like to believe.....perhaps not as viciously as a game show like Survivor, however just as dangerous, just as unethical, leaving people in life truly not knowing others around them.
How often do we see this even in business? Someone misrepresenting themselves on a resume to get a job, maintain a job, or even to manipulate a situation to better their career options? How about something a bit more relateable to regular mom.....
Last year I can remember a great example of this. I was at a school function and whilst talking with a fellow mom, she made the mention of a rule her and her husband agreed to: any purchase over $400 had to be approved by the other. My HH and I too, have a similar agreement, though our threshold is more like $100, however, I simply agreed with her, stating how good it is to be on the same page as our spouse in bigger purchases. Another mother in the group asked me directly, "Do YOU like to shop?"
Well I couldn't lie, I said, "Yes, I am a woman. I love to shop." Her next probing question was more difficult to answer. She asked, "What do you like to shop for?" I answered honestly, "I love to shop for shoes, though our threshold keeps my impulses in check."
Upon relating this story to someone, at a later date, I was advised to simply mention the famed name of Manolo Blahnik, as my favorite shoe designer, and then I'd be accepted in this group of weathy women. Knowing truthfully that I'd never owned, much less even seen a pair of Blahniks, I felt a sting of duplicity should I have taken that advice and tried to 'fit in'.
Granted, being a bit more duplicitious can help my own confidence or self-esteem level when talking with other women. Being a bit more duplicitous can convince others that I belong there, I fit in with them, am made of the same stuff as them. However, honestly, my conscious would bother me for days, that I misrepresented myself, I tried to be something I am not, that I wanted to fit in so badly, in essence I lied to gain their approval. What a shame.
That one encounter, that one bit of advice I received, made me examine to what depth am I ready to sink to in order to feel or be accepted. I'd rather sleep at night, and know that I am who I am. I am blessed with my Hero Husband, fantastic children and amazingly good health. I am blessed.
To ever be truly effective in proclaiming the Good News
to those around us, we must be like Nathaniel, transparent in all things. To truly be effective in befriending others, and expect them to be open and honest with us, we must accept the risk of rejection. As Christ tells Nathaniel that he is a true Isarelite, so too, should we hope that Christ would tell His Father, "There is no duplicity in her."
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