Upon returning home yesterday from school, my 6 year old, Serious, asked me if we could talk privately. Once we got alone here's how it went:
We sat down and then I asked, 'Ok, honey, what's up?"
Her little, sweet face reddened, and her breathing pick up it's pace. 'Hum....Mom? I don't really want to tell you...hum....'
I gave her a big hug and said, 'You can tell me anything, sweetheart, what happened today?'
She continues, eyes welling up, face bright red, and her speech is hard to understand, 'Oh, Mom! It's been happening for a long time. It's a big secret!' She begins to stare at the floor as if the next thing she'll tell me is written there on the carpet fibers.
My mind is racing.....secret? What secret? What on earth is she talking about?!
I reassure her, 'You can tell Mom any secret. You know that, right? Any secret, you can tell Mom.'
She asked nervously, 'You won't get mad?'
I gave her another big hug as her tears are rushing and she can hardly speak. 'Honey, please tell me.'
Serious shuffles her feet. She looks to her left, then to her right to check if anyone is within ear shot. She puts her hands on either side of her face, huffing and puffing, and seemingly mustering the strength to go on.
As you can imagine, it is taking all my self control and discipline to remain calm and not think the worst has been happening to my child at school. What could have possibly made her so incredibly upset and distraught? What is this secret that has her torn into pieces? What on earth is she going to tell me? Can I handle what this is?
She finally musters up the strength to spit out the words which went something like this, 'Hum....I am really so sorry......Mom....this is a big secret, Mom....I am sorry, I know at school the teachers say we can't share food, Mom....I know you say we shouldn't trade our food with our friends.....'
I could tell where this was going, and my nerves began to calm.
'Mom, I....*sniff* *sniff*.....have been eating my friend's brownies that her mom gives her. There is always an extra one and she always gives me one. And oh MOM! I HAVE BEEN EATING HER FOOD! I am so sorry Mom, I hid it from you and the teachers at school!'
Imagine my relief. Watching the news has corrupted my mind. I pictured the worst scenario for my 6 year old daughter, and she has such innocence, that this 'secret' had been tormenting her for months!
As any mother would rightly do, I hugged her, and told her how brave she is for telling me the truth. I hugged for so long as she cried tears of relief now, and I asked her, how does it feel to tell the truth, to tell this secret to me. She answered, 'I feel SO much better!'
Isn't that how it goes? We always feel better when we have owned up to something, even for a six year old, it's the same! We talked about how she can always tell me any secret, that Moms and kids don't really have secrets between them, and that she can always have a private talk whenever she wants. Being honest will ALWAYS elicit a lesser punishment, if a punishment at all.
God love her. As my mind raced for an eternity of a few minutes, her innocence was such a reminder to me, to protect that innocence, and that delicate conscious for as long as possible. What a reminder, to never jump to conclusions, to let the child tell the story and not help her along with a different version of the truth.
We sat down and then I asked, 'Ok, honey, what's up?"
Her little, sweet face reddened, and her breathing pick up it's pace. 'Hum....Mom? I don't really want to tell you...hum....'
I gave her a big hug and said, 'You can tell me anything, sweetheart, what happened today?'
She continues, eyes welling up, face bright red, and her speech is hard to understand, 'Oh, Mom! It's been happening for a long time. It's a big secret!' She begins to stare at the floor as if the next thing she'll tell me is written there on the carpet fibers.
My mind is racing.....secret? What secret? What on earth is she talking about?!
I reassure her, 'You can tell Mom any secret. You know that, right? Any secret, you can tell Mom.'
She asked nervously, 'You won't get mad?'
I gave her another big hug as her tears are rushing and she can hardly speak. 'Honey, please tell me.'
Serious shuffles her feet. She looks to her left, then to her right to check if anyone is within ear shot. She puts her hands on either side of her face, huffing and puffing, and seemingly mustering the strength to go on.
As you can imagine, it is taking all my self control and discipline to remain calm and not think the worst has been happening to my child at school. What could have possibly made her so incredibly upset and distraught? What is this secret that has her torn into pieces? What on earth is she going to tell me? Can I handle what this is?
She finally musters up the strength to spit out the words which went something like this, 'Hum....I am really so sorry......Mom....this is a big secret, Mom....I am sorry, I know at school the teachers say we can't share food, Mom....I know you say we shouldn't trade our food with our friends.....'
I could tell where this was going, and my nerves began to calm.
'Mom, I....*sniff* *sniff*.....have been eating my friend's brownies that her mom gives her. There is always an extra one and she always gives me one. And oh MOM! I HAVE BEEN EATING HER FOOD! I am so sorry Mom, I hid it from you and the teachers at school!'
Imagine my relief. Watching the news has corrupted my mind. I pictured the worst scenario for my 6 year old daughter, and she has such innocence, that this 'secret' had been tormenting her for months!
As any mother would rightly do, I hugged her, and told her how brave she is for telling me the truth. I hugged for so long as she cried tears of relief now, and I asked her, how does it feel to tell the truth, to tell this secret to me. She answered, 'I feel SO much better!'
Isn't that how it goes? We always feel better when we have owned up to something, even for a six year old, it's the same! We talked about how she can always tell me any secret, that Moms and kids don't really have secrets between them, and that she can always have a private talk whenever she wants. Being honest will ALWAYS elicit a lesser punishment, if a punishment at all.
God love her. As my mind raced for an eternity of a few minutes, her innocence was such a reminder to me, to protect that innocence, and that delicate conscious for as long as possible. What a reminder, to never jump to conclusions, to let the child tell the story and not help her along with a different version of the truth.
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