Submissive to Husband, What Does That Mean Anyway?

(Sorry, it's long winded).

First, before getting to this most controversial teaching of the Faith, let’s examine what we know to be true about the differences between men and women. Men are made at the onset to see the big picture, plan a few years out and ultimately steer the ship on a particular course. Rarely do they concern themselves with the details, as they don’t even see them. This is where God brings women into the fold, truly a genius move, to compliment the man.

Women on the other hand, see all the details, even can sense the feelings in others just by body language. She can fill her day tending to the details of daily living, be it the meals, the shopping, the diapers, the home. The list goes on and on. Life is full of details! What is more difficult for women, and we are created this way, is seeing the big picture, the whole of the life of the family and the direction its going.

With 50 years or so of Radical Feminism running rampage and teaching our young women what her role is, there is considerable misunderstandings of Authentic Feminism: namely what makes us feminine.

Let’s examine a situation that happened just last night in our home. Before HH got home last night Thinker requested a privilege and thinking there should be no problem with this request, I quickly said, “Yes, in a few minutes.” When HH got home, she came to both of us, requesting the privilege again since a few minutes had passed. Before I could give her the ‘okay’, HH spoke up and denied her request, and instead gave her a different school skill to work on.

Here’s where the temptation to over-rule HH comes into play. How easy it could be, for me, to say, “Honey, I already approved this for her, let her do it.” But I didn’t. I gave him a look that said, ‘There’s more to this story than you know’.

After she left the room, I then told my HH I had already approved the privilege, and that the request was actually good for her. He then, said to me, ‘I want her working on this other skill.’
Again, here’s where temptation to fall into Radical Feminism rears its ugly head. Do I demand to allow my daughter’s request, in reality over-ruling my HH? Do I argue the request is a higher priority than this other school skill? Do I see my pride being tweaked at because my daughter sees that I am not in charge.

Insert the Church’s teaching on being submissive. In these moments is where God expects the wife to present her case to her husband, and ultimately submit to his final decision. This action alone demonstrates the trust the wife has in her husband’s ability to lead. Arguments may happen when one or another feels more strong on a particular issue. However, in the grand scheme of things, wives must pick their battles carefully. Last night, I was able to show my HH that I trust his judgment when dealing with the children. Another day, another issue and how I may feel on it, might create that argument, but remembering an issue’s severity can help limit disagreement.

Wives who can show their husbands that they trust their judgment, will ultimately create in their husbands a sense of duty, responsibility, maturity and decisiveness. Let’s face it ladies, we ALL want our man to be The Man, but giving him the confidence to do it takes work on our part.
These acts of trust form in him the truth about his wife. That she needs him. She relies on him. She depends on him. Any man who feels needed, loved and appreciated will be not only confident in all areas of his life, he will conquer the world for her.

Insert Church’s teaching on submissive again. When HH conquers the world for her, she is meant to accept it. It’s tough when battling the ingrained messages of Radical Feminists who would say, you don’t need a man to conquer the world, do it yourself. At times, it is tough to accept all that he can give her, but that’s how God wired him…to work for her, to slay dragons for her…to ultimately die for her; just as Christ died for his Bride the Church.

Need further proof? Let’s look at a prime example: Our Lady and Our Lord at the Wedding at Cana. The party has just ran out of wine. Seeing this detail, as women do, the Blessed Mother, brings the issue to Christ. What is Jesus’ response? ‘Why are you bothering me with such details? It’s not my time.’ Mary, knowing submission, doesn’t argue with Jesus about it further. Her next action is most telling. She turns to the servants and tells them, to do whatever Jesus commands to do. She knows He’ll do something, He’ll take care of it some way. And if He decides not too, that there is a significant reason. And making this statement actually demonstrates to Christ, and others her complete trust in Him. She doesn’t need to say anything further about the matter.

Though sounding contradictory, there is freedom in this submission teaching from the Church. Women are to lay our concerns, including pros and cons, at the feet of our spouse. God gave the skill set and make-up in a man to assume the responsibility of making sound, prudent decisions looking at the big picture. We, as the women, are free. We no longer have to consume ourselves with the issue, we don’t have to worry if it will all be taken care of. We don’t have to stress out about it anymore. We present our case, we hand it over, and we are free from the stress the issue would be handing us.

We must understand our men only want to please us, and guide the family in the right direction. Their motives are pure as long as we have done the work ahead of time to build their confidence, build their right-judgment and show our dependence on them. They will see they are needed, and take that responsibility very seriously.

It’s not an easy teaching to understand and trying to applying it to daily life, can be difficult as well. However, working to show your HH and your children the proper roles of husbands and wives will bring the ultimate result of joy in their own marriage. Joy comes doing God’s will.