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Self Acceptance

We had a little *snafu* today, which upon working to clear it up, presented itself with a little lesson on self acceptance.

My Thinker made a comment during my lecture on helping her brother instead of hurting him, that it was so difficult to be the oldest of the children.  She said, "I am sure someone else would do a better job."

To which, I stood there, thinking carefully, knowing that she had thought long and hard already about her feelings on the subject. 

I asked her, "Do you believe that God made you?"

She answered, "Yes. I do."

"Okay," I said, "Do you think He made you the oldest, for some reason?"

She said, "Yes, I guess He did."

"Okay," I said, feeling like I was making progress.  "Now, do you think He makes mistakes?"

She thought for a moment.  Then answered, slowly, "No, He doesn't."

"Right.  He doesn't.  Do you think He wants someone else to be the oldest?"  I kept pushing...

She answered, "No, He wants me."

I asked her, "Why?"

She looked up at me with those wide-eyed, confused eyes, and said, "I don't know."

*DING*  There's my moment to move in.

"Honey, God has already given you, and only you, the gifts to handle being the oldest.  He keeps giving you gifts too, His graces, everyday, to help you make good decisions as the oldest child.  We will make mistakes, of course, but we can say we are sorry, and try better, using God's forgiveness as a way to move forward."

She answered, "I just don't want to be the oldest.  I want to be the baby, it's easier."

"I understand.  It's tough sometimes to be the oldest and I've heard you complain about this before.  I can't change this for you.  It's God's plan that you are the oldest.  You must accept this fact, and do the best you can with this fact of your life."

I went on...."Honey, I was the baby of my family, and I didn't like that either.  I never got to do the 'big kid' things, I always went to bed before everyone else, I never got to eat the same stuff the older kids did.  Being the baby isn't always the best either."

Her response?  "So I'm stuck with this?"

I laughed, "Yes.  I guess you could say that or feel like that....but you could think and feel blessed by this.  It's an opportunity to accept God's will for you, doing that brings you closer to God, and closer to accepting yourself as who He made you."

It's tough to have these conversations with a very smart little girl....especially when we all have self-acceptance issues.  There are parts of everyone's life that we wish weren't there.  Each of those little issues helps us to carry our own personal cross everyday...those little things that we wish weren't apart of our daily lives, or our very own person. 

It's work for all of us.  Self-acceptance can be difficult.  To accept not only the strengths, but our own weaknesses and work through them is a process.....and hopefully, I've given her a small foundation to go from, to understand that God has a plan even in all these little crosses.
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