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Sometimes, snowy mornings make for great 2 year old activities.
It really does astonish me that Christmas was so quickly here and then gone....as well as ushering in a New Year to boot. Time is flying. It always does, and it always amazes me that we somehow get through the month of December with some semblance of sanity. It's such a crazy month, and it was no different this year.
It was time to either buy more diapers in bulk, thanks Sam's Club, or potty train the little boy for good. We had talked about using the potty for some time, and December, yes, our craziest month of the year, I just had to add one more task to the mountains of things to do. Yes, we potty trained our little Babe. For Christmas, that's all I wanted this year: the last one of the house using the potty. And Santa delivered.
Babe has been dry for several weeks now, and praise God, we are out of diapers in this house. It only took 10 years, but we are out of diapers.
I tell you, not having to buy diapers or wipes is like a pay raise. It was a fabulous feeling, and yet, believe it or not, it was tough to put the changing pad away, or pack up the leftover diapers and give them away. It is such a mixed bag to see your kids grow. It's such a happy feeling, as though, Yes, I am doing what I am supposed to be doing.....teaching them, forming them, raising them to do it for themselves. And yet.
Am I less needed now then before? The anguish of uselessness.
As Babe now insists on dressing himself, refuses sippy cups and is determined to buckle himself into his car seat, I keep telling myself this little fact, and it keeps my sanity in check. That's my job, woman, allow him to do for himself. It'll build self confidence. He's meant to grow up.
I'm so proud of him, this little boy, this little man, is moving forward. He's such a happy, joyful soul and as we de-Christmas around here, and move forward in the New Year, he is too. He is moving forward too, actually probably more of leaping forward, but as in all transitions, there is pain in growth. Not pain for him, mind you, pain for me. There is a painful realization of moving chapter by chapter in a family life, for I know my grey hairs are telling the tale. It means you can't freeze time. It means it moves whether you are ready or not.
Get ready, woman, get on the train, it's moving, stop watching and get on.
Lord, help me to walk that path, surrender to a hopeful future, where you will lead me, Lord, where I am needed, where there is work, yet to be done.