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The Giving Tree

When I was little, I remember this book, "The Giving Tree", and I remember I didn't like it.  I really didn't.  It didn't seem fair.  It wasn't right that the tree had given everything, while the boy took everything without giving very much.

I remember as a child, feeling sad for the tree.  I looked at that book, as one might look at a Shakespearean tragedy....without any eagerness to read it again.

Over the weekend, I caught a moment between Entertainer and Serious.  Serious was reading "The Giving Tree" to Entertainer, and every now and again, I'd look up from my own book, and watch the interactions between these two.

As the tree began to give her apples and branches to the boy, I noticed Entertainer's face shift from a smile to a confused look, to then a frown.  Entertainer even asked Serious, "Why would the tree give it away?"

Serious said, "Because she loved the boy."

Serious continued to read.  The tree gave away even her trunk, and Entertainer's eyes were filling fast with that same sadness I felt as a child. 

She asked Serious again, "Why did she give all she had away?"

Serious, again said, "Because she loved the boy."  She finished the story then, quickly, and just like that, Entertainer looked up at me.

Her tears were falling steady now, as I asked her, "What's wrong honey?"
She ran over to me, and said, "Mom, the tree gave everything she had!"

"And that made you sad?"
Entertainer buried her head in my hair, and said, "Yes!  She had nothing left!"

Serious came over then, patted her sister on the back, gently, and took the words right out of my mouth.  She said, "She loved the boy.  She really loved him.  And that's what you do when you love someone.  You give it away."

Entertainer wept those same sad tears over this same tree, as I had so many years ago.  It's such a great story, a great lesson about friendship and love, but for some with specific temperaments, it's a tough read.  I was proud to see a child understand the concept of love, and proud as well, to see another child bring to light how tough the concept of love really is to put into practice.

Curious as the year it was published I looked on Amazon, and saw over 700 reviews on the book.  Either they loved it or hated it.  The reviews brought up a variety of complex adult relationship themes, abusive, damaging, one-sided and so forth.

Like I said, depending on the temperament, it can be a tough read.  Love isn't supposed to be easy to put into practice.  Sometimes it is.  Most times, it's tough, because love is about selflessness.....and our ego and/or pride doesn't like that. 

Love isn't about my fair share.  Had the tree and the boy had a business arrangement, yes, then let's talk about fair shares and the virtue of justice.  But it states, the tree loved the boy.  It's story about love.  Let's face it, we live in a world of selfishness, and to teach children generosity, they must learn how to give without expecting payment.

Entertainer had such emotion for the tree, yet, there is a lesson to be learned, too, from the never satisfied boy.  He never had enough.  It does state he loved the tree.  But he was never happy, only wanted more and more, and he was willing to sacrifice this tree, who loved him, in order to please himself.  He cut her down to the nub, and while the tree was happy in the end, this could be a lesson in using others for our own gain.

Lastly, I saw a commenter on Amazon equate this story to a mother and child relationship...and how in the end, just like the tree, we as mothers, would be satisfied to simply have our child come and rest a while in peace, even in old age.

Asking HH his opinion of the book, he said he always equated the tree with Christ....sacrificing it all because of the Love He had for us.  How often do we take and take, without giving back to God? 

It seems that Silverstein leaves it up to us to work out the messages of this timeless book.  These kinds of books that have great messages, challenging themes, must be given the chance to reach our children, yet with a parent standing by for explanation to that confused child.  Real Love is generous and sacrificial, and yes, it should swing both ways.
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Barb Szyszkiewicz said…
I like your theory about this book and temperament. That makes a lot of sense. I also think that at different points in your life, you will come away from reading this book with very different ideas.
March 20, 2011 at 5:48 PM
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