Every year, as you might remember from this post....we renew our wedding vows. We started this tradition many years ago and it always seems to recommit ourselves to each other, the marriage and this family that God has brought together.
Over the weekend, we asked our Deacon, who has done it for us for several years, to officiate the short yet profound renewal. As always, he seemed to be so delighted in the task. Just prior to walking to the day chapel, we asked a couple to witness for us. They have adopted our family in a way, and always seem to have something supportive to say to us after masses. Married 57 years themselves, they were happy to witness our renewal, and give us some marital advice. He said, "Try and consider her feelings before saying something that might hurt her." She chimed in and said, "Let the children solidify the marriage, as the fruit of your love." WOW. Beautiful.
As the renewal got underway, with all our crew surrounding us, our Deacon, true to his nature, gives a charismatic feel to each prayer. He always laughs at the question he must ask us again, "Do you accept children lovingly as a gift from God?" (Or something to that affect)....and he usually prefaces that question with a comedic quip, stating, "All right, guys, you already have proven you're open, but I've got to ask you again...." It seems to lighten the moment, when we are otherwise working to take seriously the vows we are stating again.....and trying to keep a two year old satisfied in a sacred place.
Being married 13 years now, and no where near the 57 that were represented in that chapel with us, we felt like we were young, new and fresh. And I think that's the point. Many wonder why bother at renewing wedding vows. One time is for all time, right? But that feeling of starting again this year, forgetting the hurts the pain that we might have caused for each other, and beginning again. That's a big part of it. It's a looking forward, and a forgiving of the past.
Of course, we recognize the gift of grace that God gives in a renewal, but it is also a re-commitment to our Church, and having a representative of our parish there, made it all the more real, that we also vow to keep our marriage together, and strong for the sake of the strength of Mother Church.
Interestingly enough, we learned after the renewal, that our adopted grandparents also renew their vows yearly. I was so impressed by that, and they said, "Oh, yes, every year we renew on our summer cruise. It's beautiful out on the ocean." Wow. Imagine that.......yes the ocean IS beautiful, a cruise, how romantic....but really, what truly was exciting is the fact that they have been married almost sixty years, and made renewal something vital to their marriage. It was a priority. They kept it. They worked at it.
Isn't that what contributes to that terrible statistic of 50% divorce rate. Married couples don't regularly work on their marriage. One time for all time, right? Not so. It's a daily effort, a daily commitment to push forward, work together, forgive, forget, love and laugh together at life's craziest moments.
Before we parted ways, my adopted grandmother, gave me a long, tight hug. I let her go, looked into her eyes as she searched mine, for what, I can't say. I'm sure I gave her a confused look, and then her face brightened immediately, and she blurted out loudly, "Congratulations!"
I laughed with her, and felt like a new bride, all over again.
 |
| Our Wedding Flower, The Stargazer Lily |
Over the weekend, we asked our Deacon, who has done it for us for several years, to officiate the short yet profound renewal. As always, he seemed to be so delighted in the task. Just prior to walking to the day chapel, we asked a couple to witness for us. They have adopted our family in a way, and always seem to have something supportive to say to us after masses. Married 57 years themselves, they were happy to witness our renewal, and give us some marital advice. He said, "Try and consider her feelings before saying something that might hurt her." She chimed in and said, "Let the children solidify the marriage, as the fruit of your love." WOW. Beautiful.
As the renewal got underway, with all our crew surrounding us, our Deacon, true to his nature, gives a charismatic feel to each prayer. He always laughs at the question he must ask us again, "Do you accept children lovingly as a gift from God?" (Or something to that affect)....and he usually prefaces that question with a comedic quip, stating, "All right, guys, you already have proven you're open, but I've got to ask you again...." It seems to lighten the moment, when we are otherwise working to take seriously the vows we are stating again.....and trying to keep a two year old satisfied in a sacred place.
Being married 13 years now, and no where near the 57 that were represented in that chapel with us, we felt like we were young, new and fresh. And I think that's the point. Many wonder why bother at renewing wedding vows. One time is for all time, right? But that feeling of starting again this year, forgetting the hurts the pain that we might have caused for each other, and beginning again. That's a big part of it. It's a looking forward, and a forgiving of the past.
Of course, we recognize the gift of grace that God gives in a renewal, but it is also a re-commitment to our Church, and having a representative of our parish there, made it all the more real, that we also vow to keep our marriage together, and strong for the sake of the strength of Mother Church.
Interestingly enough, we learned after the renewal, that our adopted grandparents also renew their vows yearly. I was so impressed by that, and they said, "Oh, yes, every year we renew on our summer cruise. It's beautiful out on the ocean." Wow. Imagine that.......yes the ocean IS beautiful, a cruise, how romantic....but really, what truly was exciting is the fact that they have been married almost sixty years, and made renewal something vital to their marriage. It was a priority. They kept it. They worked at it.
Isn't that what contributes to that terrible statistic of 50% divorce rate. Married couples don't regularly work on their marriage. One time for all time, right? Not so. It's a daily effort, a daily commitment to push forward, work together, forgive, forget, love and laugh together at life's craziest moments.
Before we parted ways, my adopted grandmother, gave me a long, tight hug. I let her go, looked into her eyes as she searched mine, for what, I can't say. I'm sure I gave her a confused look, and then her face brightened immediately, and she blurted out loudly, "Congratulations!"
I laughed with her, and felt like a new bride, all over again.
Comments