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Pre-Teen, Already?

We all know that young girls in our society are expected to grow faster than their maturity level can handle. This isn't news. However, as a mother, seeing my nine year old deal with issues beyond her years, I want to cry. She is a carefree young girl, who still loves to swing in the back yard, color in a coloring book, and tell silly knock-knock jokes. She is full of love and life, a simplicity and innocence that I have long worked to keep intact for her sake.

New issues have arisen for her. Peer pressure to keep secrets from her parents has begun, at the possible peril of friendships. It breaks my heart. She is having to make a choice, between being honest with her mother, and possibly losing a dear friend. (Which of course, I retort, "What friend is it that makes her make that impossible choice! No friend at all!")

But again, let me stress, she's a loving carefree girl, who loves her girlfriends and told me last night, "Mom, I see the good in them." How God must be so proud of her.

Third grade, folks. Third grade. And it has begun. I once got the most amazing advice from a most trusted source and at the time, I put it on a back burner, as my girls were so young then. Now, it's time to bring forth all those back burner tips I heard a long time ago. I was advised to keep communication open, keep understanding eyes looking at her, and spend the time necessary so she knows her mother is there for her, and can take whatever she's got to give.

It's certainly a difference from how I was raised. Being the youngest in my family, and the last one to deal with these types of issues, my parents, I think, were exhausted, and frankly, done with the process. I found refuge in my girlfriends, and my girlfriends' parents who WERE there, were present, even if just to listen.

And so, for me, doing anything different for my own children, is a challenge to say the least.....and a constant battle to weigh what is right, what is needed, how much must I, as the mother change to meet those needs of my girls. How we all need good examples to learn from!

I believe, if I can stick through all of this with her, at 9 years old, then perhaps when she's 13 or 16 or 19, she will still know I am here for her, and there is nothing we can't talk about. Truly, if I say I believe that God gave me three daughters and two sons for a reason, it is this: That whatever my past may be, that I am meant to learn from it, grow from it, be better so that my own children will have the benefit of my life-lessons, good or bad.

But that statement takes a great deal of objectivity....separation of my own personal feelings and do what is right for the betterment of my children, regardless of how it makes me feel. I somehow, must find peace and a certain amount of joy, that I am teaching the right and moral lessons, no matter at what personal sacrifice or cost to me personally. Tough, let me tell you, tough.

It's easy to judge others. It's tough to demand virtue of ourselves. Not impossible. It takes God's grace enabling Mother to form in children a delicate conscience, no matter the pain it may cost us.

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