Remembering That First Night

Babe turned two just last week and suddenly our baby no longer looked like a baby. He has begun toddler antics, amusing games and developing quite a sense of humor. It's been difficult to discipline him in any way, considering his antics usually generate laughter from me, not conducive to a stern look of disapproval.

The night of his birthday, I put him to bed. I held him for a few minutes, snuggled and kissed his sweet face, while playing our usual quiet game of peek-a-boo. Finally, his heavy head rested on my shoulder giving the clue of readiness for bed.

I held him for a few more minutes, and I began to realize this 'baby' was now getting too heavy for these snuggle games before bed. My arms ached a bit, and I flashed backwards mentally to the first night he was born. In only a few seconds there by his crib, with the dim light of a globe night light, I remembered my first night with this little boy in the hospital....

After having a baby, in the hospital, each time being such a unique, amazing experience, there is one thing, one thing, that I as the mother, and only me, get the joy of having. Some people might relent that first night. Guaranteed, there will be no sleep. For sure, nurses will visit to check on you, the baby will be hungry or need a diaper, you'll be recovering etc. There are so many reasons why a good night's sleep on the first night after delivery, should not be expected.

That first night, was a beautiful night. I got to examine this little creature who has spent months kicking me. I got to count the fingers and toes a hundred times. I got to smell his wisps of hair again and again. I got to hold him for hours, rest together with him, cry together with him, kiss his face over and over. I got to stare at every curve of his face, memorizing every line and crinkle. I got to give him his first bath. I got to feed him, look into his eyes, and see HH and see me at the same time. That's my time. I value it. It's a treasure.

That first night, I accept the fact, I will not sleep. I embrace this fact, and while the rest is so well deserved for a Mom who labored for hours and hours.....the first night with my new baby is reward enough. I will rest later. I will sleep at home. I will find the time another day. For now, this first night, it is my honor to be the first one to connect with this new little person. It is my time, to do all these things with the baby, and tell him with no words, 'I am here. I am here for you. You are not alone.'

I put Babe to bed on his birthday, and I smelled his hair again, kissed his fingers again and said goodbye and good night to the baby with a few of my tears, and welcomed our toddler to this new phase of his life.

Domo Arigato Gozaimasu Nihon - Thank You Japan

First, I apologize. It's almost been a week since my last post, and life certainly has a way to take me over. Arigato Gozaimasu - Thank You We have many commitments, many places where we have promised our time and energy, and when sickness sets in for me or anyone in our home, life pretty much stops....for little while anyway. Thankfully, the illnesses are down to minor colds, and as of yesterday, I am off the meds to treat a sinus infection. But that's not all. It's re-enrollment time at school, and every March we face the same uncertain future in debate...Can we swing yet another year's worth of financial commitment to our Catholic school, for four children. It's a stressful time, it's uncertain, and I have to say, that security is something I thrive on. Any insecurity, and I tell you, life just isn't right. With the children unaware of our finessing the budget, we work to keep that calm and peace that assures the children all wil...

Words Can Hurt

When we first started having children, like most people, we realized quickly how they often work as a mirror to our own actions. Letting a swear word slip here or there was not uncommon in our home, yet, when our first child was about 18 months or so, and hearing my swear word echo in the house for several days from her little lips, well, it was enough to curb my speech, dramatically. And now, swear words are never spoken in front of the children, and we have adopted a few more words that are unacceptable in the house, even though common place in the world. Just another example at how, as parents, we truly are the domestic church. The world may be on the path of negativity, but the home is where we make the difference. My four year old the other day, said, "I hate tomatoes!" Not the worst thing to hear from her mouth, granted, however, the word 'hate' bothers me a lot. 'Hate' is a very strong word, opposite of 'Love'. Think of how strong that word, ...

Little Guys and Big Things

Sometimes, Veggie Tales stick with you. Even when an 8 year old seems too old for Veggie Tale stories, and reluctantly watches a few, the messages do stick. Over the weekend, my Knight was to serve Mass. For the past few Sundays he has been serving, and we keep reminding him of the various ways to show reverence while doing his duties.....a bow to the tabernacle, folding of the hands and so forth. Sunday, I happened to be watching Knight lather his gel in his hair to ready for Mass, and I once again, reminded him to keep his reverent ways about him while serving. He made a distinct face at me, and said, "Ugh, Mom, those other server boys are bigger than me. I don't want to do something they aren't doing." "I understand, but you could set the example, because you know, what you are doing is the right thing." He shook his head, looked at himself in the mirror, and seeing his own image reflected, said again, "I'm the youngest one there, Mom...

S.tay A.t H.ome M.om at Work

Search This Blog