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Worth Fighting For

pic credit:  freelancefolder.com
There's been a significant delay in blogging as of late.  Life is too busy.  The weather is too beautiful.  The garden needs weeding, the laundry needs folding and I am sure I am supposed to baking some delicious treat for one of my crew to take to school. 

Life goes on.  With or without me.....with or without posting a snippet of our lives regularly.

However, I have believed since the start of this blog, writing a few things down can be quite therapeutic, mentally sorting through past events to make sense of it, learn something new, or how to handle it more efficiently in the future.  Recently, a few events with our family, made me sit back, and wonder, what, really is worth fighting for.

I don't mean 'who' is worth fighting for.  That's too easy.  I mean, what ideal is worth fighting for.   What notion is worth standing up for.  What virtue can you see yourself making a stink over, just because it REALLY is THAT important.

One of my children, who shall remain anonymous did something less than charitable to a sibling.  Upon questioning the child, he/she adamantly denied it.  Now, we've had run-ins with the occasional lie in our home, which we deal with promptly in an effort to nip it in the bud, reinforcing how lying is a sin.  However, children are smart creatures, and will try again.  A parent must be perceptive to see small clues that give him/her away, just like a human lie detector. 

One such clue, for this particular child is tears.  Upon bringing the child to me, tears were flowing before I even asked a single question.  So I knew, something was up.  As the injured sibling told the tale, my crying child refused to admit guilt.   I asked the child to apologize.  I was refused, insisting nothing wrong had happened. 

It's tough.  It's one story versus another.  One child was calm and cool.  The other child, crying uncontrollably.  I sent the calm, wounded child back out of the room.  I thought I'd give this one kid another chance to fess up the truth.

I was denied the truth again.  I asked for the truth once more, "Last chance", I said.  "This could get bad if you don't tell me the truth."

I was denied.  Again.

Wow.  I sat shocked.  I was convinced he/she was lying to me.  The fight in this child to defend their lie, to cover their tracks, to deceive was so strong that ten minutes of private, serious questioning didn't even shake him/her.  I shook my head, and mentally thought, Is my human lie detector off today?

And then I talked about the the nobility of honesty.  I sat seriously, looking her/him straight in the eyes, and talked about the honor of being trust worthy.  I layed it on as thick as I knew how.  I pushed this child to understand how sometimes, the only thing you have, is your word, so make it good.

I silenced him/her.  The tears had dried.  I said, "Child, are you REALLY going to keep fighting..... for a lie?

"It's not right to fight for a lie.  It's not right to fight for a sin.  It's not right for you.  God wants you to fight for Him, for good, for TRUTH."

And then, I got the truth.  This child finally surrendered.  And while I was glad to have penetrated the defenses, I was overwhelmed to realize how strong of a will this kid had.  I had to push and pull and pull out my big guns to get the truth out.  It shouldn't be that hard for a mother to have her child tell the truth. 

But as the years pass, and adolescents turn into teenagers, I know, I will see this again.  This kid has a strength inside that surpasses my expectations.  The key, is to direct that strength into what is truly, worthy of a good fight.  That day, I tell you, I reinforced, even to myself, the dignity that is TRUTH, the nobility that is HONESTY. 

Needless to say, punishment was carried out when HH got home and the severity of the crime fit the sacrifice this child will need to complete for the coming month.  And the crime isn't the lack of charity with the sibling, which is easily forgivable.  The crime was the lie and the fight for that lie.

What IS worth fighting for? 

Some things are easy to figure out, whether to put up your dukes or let it pass.  Sometimes it isn't that easy. Which things are so valuable that they are worth the effort, the sacrifice, the time and commitment it takes to defend them?  We all have things that we believe in, so strongly that we stand up, fist ready to metaphorically throw that punch. 

What is it for you?  What is it for a mother?  What it that thing that makes you stop in your tracks, quit whatever else is going on, so that you defend that noble idea? 

For this Stay At Home Mother, it's The Truth, in whatever way that Truth presents itself...whether as big as our Faith, or as small as a white lie during ordinary family life.  I do believe, your word is your bond.  It's what makes you who you are.  For me........that.  is.  worth fighting for.
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Barb Szyszkiewicz said…
Yes--it is worth fighting for. And you as a parent will have to fight for it over and over and over again. You might think your kids won't notice--but they will. Especially the one time you DON'T make the effort. So God bless you for making the effort!
June 4, 2011 at 5:07 AM
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