Skip to main content

Be Unafraid

It's been a tough past seven days and blogging has been slow.  Amidst decision making, all else takes a back seat until a firm 'yeah' or 'nay' is decided upon and all else can move forward.  God's plan can be elusive for us.  It can be deciding between two 'goods' instead of a 'good' versus 'evil' scenario.

And limbo can be a time for deep prayer, discernment and weighing out the possibilities.  Limbo can be a time to purify intentions, identify a goal and see if that ultimate goal is worth the struggle that this tough decision can bring.

Alas, last night a final decision was made.  I clicked 'send' on my email, and literally looked above my computer screen as if to see a floating culminating image of this tough decision.  It was as if at that last second, I could stretch out my hand, and pull back my email floating just above my head, if necessary, and change my mind.  It was surreal.

This morning, a great peace descended upon the house, which I can only describe as relief that the stress of weighing pros and cons had been finished and that God, indeed, had pointed the way.  Ironic that this sense of enlightenment only comes AFTER a firm decision is made.  I get it.  I can sense how finally seeing the path before me, brings a peace, calm and determination to begin anew, on a new journey.

With that peace, there is an air of excitement as well.  I know this begins something new and challenging, and with it, new opportunities for growth and change.  And I fully recognize the very real possible near future of proving my qualifications AND lack there of, which is exciting and terrifying all at the same time.

I greet the peace and excitement with a personal joy and new conviction.  I welcome the challenge and will attempt to see each new step in the process as God's personal plan for me to grow, be better, learn and give what meager pieces of service I can bring. 

I have vision of a uniquely dignified, confident and secure woman, who handles diversity with peace and grace.  I see her.  She is like me.  She has my face, but she's stronger.  She stands just as I do, yet there is a serenity and fluidity that surrounds her.  I can see my children's smiling faces milling around her feet that look exactly like my feet.  She is me, but a futuristic possible me, if I can allow her, if I can move and learn.  It see that vision as a gift.  It's God showing me a possible future, if I but cooperate with Him.

Ultimately, that gift shifts the tide in only one direction.  In essence, God pointed the way, by pointing to what I could learn and how I could grow.  His finger pointing made the decision for me.  However difficult to accept for myself, if I can, in all certainty know it is His plan, then all else pales in comparison.  All obstacles seem to fade from view, as He can conquer all, and should He choose to allow me to suffer, it is only for my good and for the good of others.  He goes before me always.  Be Unafraid.


Leanne said…
Courage, my friend. You have it. Love this post.

Popular Posts

Words Can Hurt

When we first started having children, like most people, we realized quickly how they often work as a mirror to our own actions. Letting a swear word slip here or there was not uncommon in our home, yet, when our first child was about 18 months or so, and hearing my swear word echo in the house for several days from her little lips, well, it was enough to curb my speech, dramatically.

And now, swear words are never spoken in front of the children, and we have adopted a few more words that are unacceptable in the house, even though common place in the world. Just another example at how, as parents, we truly are the domestic church. The world may be on the path of negativity, but the home is where we make the difference.

My four year old the other day, said, "I hate tomatoes!" Not the worst thing to hear from her mouth, granted, however, the word 'hate' bothers me a lot. 'Hate' is a very strong word, opposite of 'Love'. Think of how strong that word, …

Little Guys and Big Things

Sometimes, Veggie Tales stick with you. Even when an 8 year old seems too old for Veggie Tale stories, and reluctantly watches a few, the messages do stick. 

Over the weekend, my Knight was to serve Mass.  For the past few Sundays he has been serving, and we keep reminding him of the various ways to show reverence while doing his duties.....a bow to the tabernacle, folding of the hands and so forth.

Sunday, I happened to be watching Knight lather his gel in his hair to ready for Mass, and I once again, reminded him to keep his reverent ways about him while serving.  He made a distinct face at me, and said, "Ugh, Mom, those other server boys are bigger than me.  I don't want to do something they aren't doing."

"I understand, but you could set the example, because you know, what you are doing is the right thing."

He shook his head, looked at himself in the mirror, and seeing his own image reflected, said again, "I'm the youngest one there, Mom."…

Domo Arigato Gozaimasu Nihon - Thank You Japan

First, I apologize.  It's almost been a week since my last post, and life certainly has a way to take me over. 

We have many commitments, many places where we have promised our time and energy, and when sickness sets in for me or anyone in our home, life pretty much stops....for little while anyway.

Thankfully, the illnesses are down to minor colds, and as of yesterday, I am off the meds to treat a sinus infection.  But that's not all.  It's re-enrollment time at school, and every March we face the same uncertain future in debate...Can we swing yet another year's worth of financial commitment to our Catholic school, for four children.

It's a stressful time, it's uncertain, and I have to say, that security is something I thrive on.  Any insecurity, and I tell you, life just isn't right.  With the children unaware of our finessing the budget, we work to keep that calm and peace that assures the children all will be well.  But for me, inside, my heart sinks to…