I am not an avid Dr. Laura blog follower, however, I do catch her blog every now and then, and now after reading her recent book, "In Praise of Stay At Home Moms" - I like her more and more. I encourage you to pick it up, should you ever doubt the role moms have in staying at home with their kids. I just read her blog, in regards to staying at home even when the kids are older :http://www.drlaurablog.com/2009/09/09/staying-home-for-older-kids/
My own mother stayed home with us kids even through high school, and it was such a comfort to know that even at ages 13, 15, 17, she was there to quiz me for my next test, listen, or at times, just be present. Sometimes, I think we forget that simply our time is a great gift that we give others. Let me be more specific. I am talking about that unscheduled time. The time of ourselves, of just being present. Every moment doesn't need to be filled. At times sitting nearby, can spark a great discussion with out provocation, without plan, without manipulating the situation.
Last year, I had two in school, and three at home. My five year old would do a bit of school work while the little two napped in the afternoon. Then, we would both walk together outside around the house. We would stop to smell a new flower that had bloomed. We would pick a few pea pods and munch as we walked past the garden. We didn't fill the time with much conversation, really, we just took in what was around us. Holding hands as we walked, we would watch a bird fly past, a butterfly land and leave, and several other simple, quiet things to enjoy the moments together. It became a daily tradition, as it gave us both a breath of fresh air, time outside, and quiet....that I think her temperament and mine both needed after a morning of busyness.
It really only took a few minutes out of the day. But it was just hers. Mom and hers. I have often heard the third, middle child out of five, can often get lost in the shuffle. My HH & I had decided to give her a bit of special time, just so she knows how much she means to us. I had my daily walks outside with her, and my HH would read a story at bedtime, just her and him.
Slowly we noticed slight changes in her. She began to bloom. She handled situations with much more maturity, and she often had questions for me that showed great insight, thought, and logic. For a five year old, that says a lot! In our effort to prepare her for attending Kindergarten this year, we certainly went over the ABC's and 123's, however, it was in these little acts of giving our time, I think, that catapulted her readiness for school and being away from home.
There's a sense of security that we give our children when we are just present for them. They know they are special because we gave them a very precious gift. Even they know, at times, that it's difficult to give precious time. And truly, I believe one day, they'll look back and say thanks, for these little things....yes they'll say thanks for trips to the zoo, the circus, and all the vacations - but what helped to keep them secure, happy, feeling loved without limit, will be the time we spent just BEING there.
In our world, things are getting faster all the time. As the mother, as the sentinel, our job is to be the constant, the security, the resting place. Sometimes, we have to allow ourselves to just be there.
My own mother stayed home with us kids even through high school, and it was such a comfort to know that even at ages 13, 15, 17, she was there to quiz me for my next test, listen, or at times, just be present. Sometimes, I think we forget that simply our time is a great gift that we give others. Let me be more specific. I am talking about that unscheduled time. The time of ourselves, of just being present. Every moment doesn't need to be filled. At times sitting nearby, can spark a great discussion with out provocation, without plan, without manipulating the situation.Last year, I had two in school, and three at home. My five year old would do a bit of school work while the little two napped in the afternoon. Then, we would both walk together outside around the house. We would stop to smell a new flower that had bloomed. We would pick a few pea pods and munch as we walked past the garden. We didn't fill the time with much conversation, really, we just took in what was around us. Holding hands as we walked, we would watch a bird fly past, a butterfly land and leave, and several other simple, quiet things to enjoy the moments together. It became a daily tradition, as it gave us both a breath of fresh air, time outside, and quiet....that I think her temperament and mine both needed after a morning of busyness.
It really only took a few minutes out of the day. But it was just hers. Mom and hers. I have often heard the third, middle child out of five, can often get lost in the shuffle. My HH & I had decided to give her a bit of special time, just so she knows how much she means to us. I had my daily walks outside with her, and my HH would read a story at bedtime, just her and him.
Slowly we noticed slight changes in her. She began to bloom. She handled situations with much more maturity, and she often had questions for me that showed great insight, thought, and logic. For a five year old, that says a lot! In our effort to prepare her for attending Kindergarten this year, we certainly went over the ABC's and 123's, however, it was in these little acts of giving our time, I think, that catapulted her readiness for school and being away from home.
There's a sense of security that we give our children when we are just present for them. They know they are special because we gave them a very precious gift. Even they know, at times, that it's difficult to give precious time. And truly, I believe one day, they'll look back and say thanks, for these little things....yes they'll say thanks for trips to the zoo, the circus, and all the vacations - but what helped to keep them secure, happy, feeling loved without limit, will be the time we spent just BEING there.
In our world, things are getting faster all the time. As the mother, as the sentinel, our job is to be the constant, the security, the resting place. Sometimes, we have to allow ourselves to just be there.
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