Talked with a friend recently about the whole SAHM deal, and frankly, I wish I could have spoken much more eloquently than I did. See, I prefer the written word, I can think before I write.
So the topic was how to accept the position of stay at home mom when she used to be so active in her career, traveling to other cities etc. She made the decision to stay at home for her children’s sake, as it was, in her opinion the best thing for her baby. Studies will show that she is right….that a constant mother there to form and educate has amazing benefits especially between the years 0-3.
The last thing she said, before hanging up the phone, was, does anyone complain anymore about the yuck parts of the job? This stayed with me, as I tried to elevate her position to one of magnificent importance, forming the next generation of our societies leaders. I hoped to relate her to Our Lady and in all her uncertain times, how she managed grace, obedience and gratitude.
However, let’s be blunt. There are yuck parts of the job. Any stay at home mother, or really any mother, would tell you, at times the yuck parts outweigh the fun ones, especially when the babes can’t even communicate back to you….or they can too much! See, in all her communication wit
h other stay at home moms, she rarely heard a discouraging word, it was all sunshine and roses, and she, frankly, knew better. Don’t we all.
I sat and thought on what she said, and it occurred to me, we stay at home mothers don’t dwell on the negative….we don’t spend an hour lamenting on that poopie diaper I have to change, or that my schedule is now dictated by an infant, or that my own lunches have been reduced to the all too often PB&J. I don’t sit and imagine what my life could have been, or how much money I could be making. I don’t think of all the negatives, and let that drown out my day.
It’s about acceptance. Do you accept the decision you have made to let all that go, and raise your child for the betterment of that child and not yourself. Do you accept your role now is to provide the happy home, the secure children, the comforting place for your husband to come home to? You now become that device, for lack of a better word, that propels your hubbie and children out into the world. They will come from acceptance, love, understanding, compassion, security: a nurturing environment….where you can actually see the self-esteem and confidence grow each day in your hubbie and children, because they have the support of you, the mother, who then, even though difficult to do, must propel them out of the house for success in their own endeavors.
Due to this acceptance, I believe that most SAHMs will testify that they now, see those yuck duties, as part of any job. Don’t salaried positions have the yuck too? Think of the rush hour traffic, the raise given to someone less deserving, the after hours work, the office politics, the difficult boss, the hours waiting for a delayed or cancelled flight and the list goes on. What helps me, really, is not only the acceptance, but how I can be proactive in order to stay positive. Now I notice the little things I never used to care about. In the everyday incidences, we can find joy: My daughter who caught a butterfly, and how we examine it together, trying to name all the parts, My son who loves to build Lego's, and I try to guess what flying machine he just created or how to add wheels to it, My eldest, who asks questions like how the tomatoes can grow out of the dirt in our garden. We get to re-experience innocence and youth through our kids own experiences. We get once again the taste of our own youth. Haven’t most adults forgotten what it feels like to be on a swing in the back yard, wind through your hair and not a care in the world? It’s an almost magical time that as SAHMothers we get to share in, play in, and be silly when the time calls for it. Have you ever finger-painted with your little ones, and not care about the mess you’ll have to clean later?
There are many ways to turn what seems like a yuck job into one that can bring you peace and joy. But remember, it takes work on our part to allow that to happen. It takes us accepting our state in life, and finding joy and innocence in the little things. Take heart, this time is fleeting, let us be like Mary, and hold all these things in our heart. God love you, friend, your sacrifice now, will not be forgotten later.
**Just a side note – I counted the number of times I was interrupted by one of my children as I type this post outside as the children play, so please excuse me if the post doesn’t flow as it should….. Interruptions: 57. Phone calls: 1. Bees attack: 3 The chance to sit on the deck, drink IceTea, feel the sun & breeze in 72 degree weather, watch a hummingbird, play catch: PRICELESS.**
So the topic was how to accept the position of stay at home mom when she used to be so active in her career, traveling to other cities etc. She made the decision to stay at home for her children’s sake, as it was, in her opinion the best thing for her baby. Studies will show that she is right….that a constant mother there to form and educate has amazing benefits especially between the years 0-3.
The last thing she said, before hanging up the phone, was, does anyone complain anymore about the yuck parts of the job? This stayed with me, as I tried to elevate her position to one of magnificent importance, forming the next generation of our societies leaders. I hoped to relate her to Our Lady and in all her uncertain times, how she managed grace, obedience and gratitude.
However, let’s be blunt. There are yuck parts of the job. Any stay at home mother, or really any mother, would tell you, at times the yuck parts outweigh the fun ones, especially when the babes can’t even communicate back to you….or they can too much! See, in all her communication wit
h other stay at home moms, she rarely heard a discouraging word, it was all sunshine and roses, and she, frankly, knew better. Don’t we all.I sat and thought on what she said, and it occurred to me, we stay at home mothers don’t dwell on the negative….we don’t spend an hour lamenting on that poopie diaper I have to change, or that my schedule is now dictated by an infant, or that my own lunches have been reduced to the all too often PB&J. I don’t sit and imagine what my life could have been, or how much money I could be making. I don’t think of all the negatives, and let that drown out my day.
It’s about acceptance. Do you accept the decision you have made to let all that go, and raise your child for the betterment of that child and not yourself. Do you accept your role now is to provide the happy home, the secure children, the comforting place for your husband to come home to? You now become that device, for lack of a better word, that propels your hubbie and children out into the world. They will come from acceptance, love, understanding, compassion, security: a nurturing environment….where you can actually see the self-esteem and confidence grow each day in your hubbie and children, because they have the support of you, the mother, who then, even though difficult to do, must propel them out of the house for success in their own endeavors.
Due to this acceptance, I believe that most SAHMs will testify that they now, see those yuck duties, as part of any job. Don’t salaried positions have the yuck too? Think of the rush hour traffic, the raise given to someone less deserving, the after hours work, the office politics, the difficult boss, the hours waiting for a delayed or cancelled flight and the list goes on. What helps me, really, is not only the acceptance, but how I can be proactive in order to stay positive. Now I notice the little things I never used to care about. In the everyday incidences, we can find joy: My daughter who caught a butterfly, and how we examine it together, trying to name all the parts, My son who loves to build Lego's, and I try to guess what flying machine he just created or how to add wheels to it, My eldest, who asks questions like how the tomatoes can grow out of the dirt in our garden. We get to re-experience innocence and youth through our kids own experiences. We get once again the taste of our own youth. Haven’t most adults forgotten what it feels like to be on a swing in the back yard, wind through your hair and not a care in the world? It’s an almost magical time that as SAHMothers we get to share in, play in, and be silly when the time calls for it. Have you ever finger-painted with your little ones, and not care about the mess you’ll have to clean later?
There are many ways to turn what seems like a yuck job into one that can bring you peace and joy. But remember, it takes work on our part to allow that to happen. It takes us accepting our state in life, and finding joy and innocence in the little things. Take heart, this time is fleeting, let us be like Mary, and hold all these things in our heart. God love you, friend, your sacrifice now, will not be forgotten later.
**Just a side note – I counted the number of times I was interrupted by one of my children as I type this post outside as the children play, so please excuse me if the post doesn’t flow as it should….. Interruptions: 57. Phone calls: 1. Bees attack: 3 The chance to sit on the deck, drink IceTea, feel the sun & breeze in 72 degree weather, watch a hummingbird, play catch: PRICELESS.**
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