We have a really nice, usually vacant, 24 hour adoration chapel near our home, and while I don't get there as often as I'd like, I happen to make a visit yesterday. At times, simply spending time there, gives me a clarity, a simplicity in my vantage point.
Yesterday, I went, and spent time as usual in His Presence, and then for some reason, I simply asked if there was anything He wanted to share with me. I suppose I got the sense I had left my laundry list of requests or ponderings at His feet, without truly knowing what He wanted to share with me, which I admit happens all too often.
No matter our current struggles, and/or our own meager human understanding of the situation, God can use our openness to Him, for a glimpse into truth.
And then, I got a flash, which I can only say was a grace given. I began to think of all the individuals along the path of Christ's last days....from the scene in the Garden, just being betrayed, yet still showing his compassion enough to mend the wounded ear of a soldier. Then, skip to the scene of Him carry his cross, and meeting with the women, and His Mother, giving comfort to them, when clearly they hoped to ease His suffering. Then, jump to his last moments with the good thief next to him...where He still forgives and promises compassion to this man, who at last found faith.
It seems that in Christ's last days, when he knew what would come, and the suffering that he would endure, He still managed to show compassion, forgiveness and love. Perhaps He was just so much more effective in reaching these individuals because He was acting when least expected. He could have been absorbed in fulfilling God's will, and shutting out everything else....but he didn't. Somehow, He recognized that fulfilling God's will included reaching out to these individuals along the journey, and that it HAD to happen at that moment and not another moment. It makes me wonder the power of reaching out to others, when we are at our most vulnerable, or at the times we want to shut out the world and be self-absorbed, curled up on the couch waiting for the sun to shine again.
Perhaps it is these exact moments, that God is challenging us to use that pain, that vulnerability to be Christ for someone else. Maybe we are more compassionate when we are looking, ourselves for compassion. Perhaps when we have been hurt, we can recognize the hurt in others.
God has a way to tell us what we need just when we need it. And for sure, He told me. The hard part, is putting that realization into practice. And so I walked slowly back to my car, pulled out my phone and made, probably the hardest phone call I ever had to make. Even in this tough moment, with the ringing on the other side seemingly sounding off in slow motion, God is there. As I left a message, it occurred to me, He only wanted to see if I would take His Grace and run with it. What happens now, well, now I can honestly say, is in His hands.
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